


Rescue me

by fangirl2013



Category: The White Queen (TV)
Genre: Eating Disorders, F/M, Modern (AU), Romance, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-03 15:05:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4105309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl2013/pseuds/fangirl2013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love can happen when you least want it to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this doesn't suck too much

"And how does that make you feel?" The therapist asked me as her inquistive eyes searched mine, quickly. Her tone was soft and coaxing but I felt no desire to spill my guts to the woman in front of me. None at all... 

Instead, a sarcastic response burst from me. It was much better than giving her details about my messed up, fucked feelings. After all, if I couldn't make sense of them, how on earth could she? A small, annoying part of my brain reminded me that she was indeed the professional yet I could easily ignore it. With her messy, unkept black hair, she wasn't looking very professional. 

"Hunky fucking dory. That's why I'm here, right? Having such a wonderful lovely time...." My words were full of scorn and I sincerely hoped she'd notice. Perhaps then they would leave me alone. 

Mum, Dad and even Izzy would all have gone apeshit hearing me talk to someone like that but I knew I didn't have to worry about that. They were at home and I wouldn't be seeing them until visiting time tomorrow. The 'lovely' Dr Margaret Beaufort wouldn't tell them about what was said during our sessions. The little issue of confidentiality would make sure of that. 

"I am here to help you, Anne. You may resent needing my help but until you're feeling better, you shall have to get used to it." This time her words weren't as soft nor as coaxing as before. She obviously saw no reason to be. I'd be a complete bitch either way. 

Complete bitch.... The words felt like a knife to my windpipe. Before I knew it, I felt breathless and panicky. As my palms grew clammy and damp, I wondered when I'd changed from Annie 'the kind girl' to Anne 'the complete bitch.' I couldn't quite pinpoint the exact moment or situation and my inability to breathe made it even harder for me to concentrate properly. 

My chest felt tight and heavy almost as if someone was trying to squeeze the life out of me. Dr Beaufort seemed almost oblivious to my struggle as her gaze was on her clipboard and I took it as my chance to escape. 

Rising from my seat, my legs felt like jelly. I stumbled slightly as I got to my feet but I quickly headed for the door. 

"Anne, we aren't finished here." Dr Beaufort shouted as she too made her way to the door as soon as she noticed I'd gone. 

The "fuck off" I had muttered to her in response had been automatic as all I had wanted was to be left alone and in peace. 

My legs still felt unsteady as I walked and I didn't really know where I was going. I'd be lonely in my room and I saw no upside to being on my own. I'd only end up unhappy, tearful and feeling guilty about how I'd acted. 

The sound of banging crockery brought me to the dining room. A place I normally would avoid like the plague. The smell of food that waftered towards me as I entered the room almost turned my stomach but I ignored it. If I didn't, I wouldn't even get inside the room. That I did know. 

I knew it was around lunch time as I saw a few of my friends eating. I don't really know who I was searching for but as my eyes landed on Richard York, I knew immediately I wanted to talk to him. He always seemed to be able to calm me down. No matter how anxious and overwhelmed I felt. 

He soon spotted me approaching as he shot me a rather welcoming grin. With his hair a complete mess, he looked a little unkept. The grin was wide, though, and I felt my mouth move to resemble a grin of my own. I couldn't quite help myself. It was the type of smile you just have to return. I quickly plonked myself down next to him. 

"You look a little stressed, Anne my dear. What's wrong?" He asked me, his voice just as soft and coaxing as Dr Beaufort's had been. Unlike with her, however, I didn't mind him asking as it meant he cared. 

I still didn't feel talkative yet I also didn't want to upset him either. Even if he adamant that he understood. Trying to waste some time, my gaze dropped to his plate. Although, the plate was an average size, the piles of food on it looked monstrous. I could see what he had been eating when I had arrived as I soon spotted the half eaten carrots next to the mashed potato. 

I tried to notice all this without reacting but I must have done as I felt Richard stroke my hair before placing a loose lock behind my ear. It was a tender action and I'd noticed very early on in our friendship that he always was tender with me. 

"I walked out of Dr Beaufort's session." I admitted him, simply. Too simply. Of course, there was more going on but I couldn't tell him everything. None of it was any of his problem! 

He gave me a sympathetic smile as if he knew what it was like. I knew he didn't though because his therapist is actually a nice guy! Not like Dr Beaufort. More often than not, I feel like smashing her face in with a brick just to shut her up. People think I'm nuts yet half the stuff she comes out with is utter bullshit. 

Looking at Richard's tender expression, I was glad his therapist wasn't like mine. Not only did he seem happier but also he was obviously eating more. A little traitorous thought rose up in me as realised how much he'd eaten. His "progress" would please the staff, that I knew. 

How soon would he leave here? Leaving me all alone....


	2. Chapter 2

"Now that we're ready, perhaps we can start."

His voice startled me. I'd been too busy staring at Richard to notice he had entered the room, let alone that he had sat down. Edward seemed to notice how his words affected me as he shot me a rather disapproving scowl. It was less than friendly. I felt myself flush with embarrassment as it felt like everyone was looking at me too. Margaret had haphazardly rounded us all up and put up in 'the sunshine room'. Despite its positive name, the sunshine room is less than sunny. It's lack of windows meant the room felt more like a prison waiting room than anything cheerful. The hard, plastic chairs we'd been forced to sit in also made the room uncomfortable and stuffy. 

At Edward's less than friendly words, I soon spotted Richard smirk at me. On anyone else, I would have wanted to smack it right off them yet with him, I knew why he was doing it. As unethical as Edward's job appointment was, I know Richard appreciates Edward's presence. At times, anyway. Having your older brother around can sometimes be a bad thing. The rest of us unfortunate people aren't quite so appreciative. Who would be? Edward's rude, cold and completely lacking in anything resembling empathy. I hadn't known him more than a week before I decided I hated all psychiatrists, like him. Even if he was Richard's brother. 

"Anne? How about you start?" Once again, it was Edward. My flush deepened and I wanted the ground to swallow me up whole. If everyone hadn't already been staring at me, they certainly were now. Dislike for Edward thundered through me and and a flurry of violent thoughts towards him filled my head. I didn't want to tell a room full of strangers all my problems. 

More importantly, I didn't want Richard to see just how fucked up I am. We had never really talked about my 'issues'. I had admitted it was about eating but I couldn't bring myself to admit anything else. It had been too difficult.

"Er....." I looked at all the expectant expressions on their faces around and all it seemed to do was panic me. Was this the aim of group bloody therapy? I started feeling faintly sick as I spotted Edward's gaze on me. As reluctant as I was to speak, I also didn't want him to put me on some medication. As bad as I believed Margaret was, at least, she couldn't prescribe me anything. 

I did eventually turn to look at Richard, as I heard the clock ticking loudly in my ears. The sunshine room was silent as they waited for me to speak and it felt incredibly tense. Richard, unlike all the rest, smiled at me encouragingly. His eyes seemed bright and lively and I couldn't help but think he wouldn't judge me. Especially, as he too would end up confiding in the group. In the seconds that followed, I felt sorry for Richard rather than worried about myself. He would have to talk with his brother there. At least with me, I didn't have that.

"I have an eating disorder." I admitted to everyone, my voice cracking slightly as I spoke. My mouth felt bone dry and scratchy and I desperately wished for a drink. Anything to make my voice sound less weak and feeble. I couldn't bring myself to look in Richard's direction as I didn't want to see disappointment written on his face as I knew it would be. 

Edward and Margaret seemed to nod, at my words, as if they approved of the fact I was finally opening up yet they didn't, couldn't understand the turmoil that was going on inside my head. It was the first time I had ever openly acknowledged something was wrong. I hadn't even accepted the shrink's diagnosis. Although, the word 'EDNOS' had whirled around my head on torturous loop, tormenting me. Why couldn't I for once be normal?

I knew what Edward would ask. They always wanted me to talk about EDNOS and whether I knew what it meant. I just hadn't wanted to talk about it. I gingerly looked at the fellow patients around me as if to see what they thought of what I was telling. Apart from Richard, who looked interested and almost proud of me, they didn't seem to care too much. Perhaps, they wanted the session to end as much as I did?

"Do you know which eating disorder you suffer from, Anne? Can you tell us a little bit about the issues you face?" Unlike his usual snappy tone, Edward sounded almost caring as if he genuinely wanted to help me. The soft tone of his voice made me think of Richard and once again, my gaze turned to him. Despite my reluctance to tak and my desire to clam up or have a stop anything to avoid talking more, I also wanted to make Richard proud of me.

"I suffer from EDNOS. It stands for "Eating disorder not otherwise specified." My voice sounded mechanical but it was the only way I could manage it. I didn't want to say anything else and it had took all my resolve to say as much as I already had. 

The smile on Richard's face was small but nevertheless there. I felt like crying as Margaret decided to question me. Admitting just how much I struggled with eating was too much more for me. Did they really expect me to everyone about everything? By the sound of Margaret's severe tone, it seemed so. My eyes began to sting as tears pricked the back of my eyes. I had to blink rapidly to stop myself from crying even more. 

"I don't want to talk anymore." I couldn't help but think I sounded like a petulant little child. I grimaced slightly at the realisation and perhaps Edward and Margaret noticed this. After a moment or two of looking at me expectantly, they moved on to someone else. Not before, of course, they embarrassed me further. 

"That was very good Anne. Thank you for sharing that with us." Margaret told me, her face frighteningly cheerful. Since when did Margaret appear to be cheerful? Not since she'd been having sessions with me, that's for sure. 

A round of applause started quickly. It was Richard who started it off and as it ended, it was certainly loud and boisterous. I swear I heard someone 'whoop' and I saw it was Richard. The sound, although, made me blush also brought a smile to my face. I watched Richard as his brother's attention finally moved to him. The smile on his own face dropped quickly. Instead, a look of apprehension crossed his face. To be honest, I didn't blame him. Although, he was only a few chairs away from me, I wanted to be closer to him. I wanted to show him I cared...

"Richard?" Edward sounded harsh again and his attitude continued to puzzle me. I didn't understand why Edward would be so cold to his brother. When I had found out about them being brothers, I'd been shocked. They didn't seem brotherly at all. If anything, Edward seemed even colder with his brother than the rest of us. Hardly the best person to be our psychiatrist....!

Richard fidgeted slightly in his chair and I saw all the signs he was nervous. Like with my own 'issues' we hadn't talked about his. I didn't want to push him into admitting anything he didn't want to and he never brought the topic up. After all, I didn't want to upset him. After hesitating slightly, he finally spoke. There was no hint of his calm nature and I could see the stress written over his face.

"I suffer from bipolar, PTSD and a bunch of other crazy shit!" He told him, his tone slightly cheeky, even to my ears. A look of disapproval came to Edward's face and it hardly surprised me. After all, I knew both he and Margaret had expected a serious response. I'd been too unsettled, nervous and on edge to be my normal rude self. To the staff, anyway.

Even after Edward looked disapproving at him, Richard didn't look remorseful in the slightest. What had happened to my polite Richard? I gazed at Richard a little as I wondered then I realised what I had just thought. Since when had he become mine?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne snoops and ends up getting punished!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a guest chapter written by SketchLockwood. :) Enjoy!

Dr York's office was a large room at the furthest end of the corridor, tucked safely away from patients. The nurse had brought me on here, apparently at his request, but as I sat in the deep cushioned chair my psychiatrist was no where to be seen. The room, much like Edward's personality, was bland and boring. Unlike I had imagined most offices to be, he had no photos which told me about his life outside work. From what I could tell, he was a man which gave away so little about himself. Even if Richard insisted on telling every Tom, Dick and Harry about them and their private life. A private life I had gathered Edward wanted to be as confidential as a high security prison. 

My nosiness won me over, I rose from the chair in my boredom beginning my walk around his grossly expansive office. The only thing that held colour in this clinical room of medical hell was the shelf at the far side of the room, upon which rested endless files of reds and blues. On the spine of each was scribbled a name. Richard's, mine, Francis, George, Lizzy, Robert and... the last name caught me by surprise. I blinked three times, reading the name repetitively. 

Name: Edward J York  
D.O.B: 28/04/1989  
NHS Number: 716 544 3983

Looking around once or twice I reached, pulling down the blue box and flicking up the button. Who on earth would keep their own medical files in their office? For a moment I thought I must be imagining it. On the first page was a letter with the blue and white box at the top, written in neat wording was 'Leeds and York Partnership Foundation Trust' and the letter was undoubtedly about him.

In answer to my question, apparently Edward would keep his own medical files in his office. I began to read the letter, surprisingly I did not feel sleezy; not like I was prying. 

 

Dr J Peterson  
Smith and Taylor Medical Practise  
14 New York Road  
Leeds  
West Yorkshire  
LS1 4NY

Edward York  
143 Park Lane  
Leeds  
West Yorkshire  
LS1 7DE

16th August 2004

Dr Peterson

Thank you for your referral of Edward to our service. He seems like a pleasant young man experiencing distress in the form of depressive and psychotic episodes. I have made a tentative diagnosis of emotionally unstable personality disorder, comorbid with generalised anxiety disorder. He has frequent episodes in which he appears dysfunctional. 

I will review the situation in three months and will confirm the diagnosis when it appears appropriate to do so. 

Please keep me updated of any concerns you should hold. 

Signed

Dr Marsch 

I gulped, staring at the paper, looking at the next page, confirming the diagnosis and then the next, a sectioning order. I was half way through the folder when I heard the door slam close, the voice which made me jump. "Do you think it appropriate to look through the confidential information of another patient?" Dr York approached as I slammed the file closed, putting it back on the shelf. I cringed as it teetered and then fell. Edward caught it, looking at the spine. His face paled, sweat slicked his skin. "What is this?" 

"I uh... I." 

He put the folder back on the shelf, calmly. He indicated to the chair. "Don't worry Anne. No harm done. I would rather you read that than those of a current patient." He smiled as he sat in his chair. "I asked for you to be brought here for a progress review. Were you told when you became a tenant here that you would have these?"

I shook my head, clasping my hands. Tenant? Bloody tenant? If being sectioned was a tenancy then prison was a hotel. 

"Well you do, and they are my opportunity to address issues and yours to raise any concerns. So shall we start there?" He took a pen and piece of paper beginning to make notes as he looked to me. 

"Sure. I don't really have any." I shrugged.

"You're sure?" His tone was emotionless, unempathetic. I nodded, looking to the floor. I was intimidated by him. "What about feedback then?"

"I dont like group therapy." I said it quickly. 

"Whys that?" I saw his eyebrow raise, saw the thoughts he had. Group therapy was cheaper, it was faster. What would happen if the, tenants, didn't like it? "Richard was being silly, that was his own problem. You don't need to worry about that. He isn't ready for group therapy yet."

"I don't like talking about my problems." 

"Is it Dr Beaufourt? Would you prefer to talk to me?" 

"No!" I stood up quickly, perhaps too abruptly as he moved his chair back and began to stand. "I don't want to talk! That means to her, to you, to anyone! I'd rather talk to Richard and you say he's inane but he's saner than you!" I don't know what came over me, but I saw his hand lingering close to the panic button, although he paused. 

"Anne, don't use the word insane." 

"Why? She thinks I'm insane and so do you. That's why I am here right?"

"Anne, we are here to help you." For the first time I heard something in his voice, patronisation. 

"Then do your job!" I had begun crying. Dr York nodded, picking up his phone he called for a nurse before grabbing a pad and pen, scribbling quickly. When Nurse Cooper arrived she smiled, resting a hand on my arm. "Jennifer, could you take Anne back to her room please and then can you get some fluxetine, diazapan, klonopan, and respiridone. One three times a day should do it." He handed the paper to her. She nodded. 

"What are they?" I demanded.

"To calm you down Anne. It's temporary. You may get some side effects, if so we will deal with those when they occur. Some of those may include dizziness, confusion, drowsiness, fatigue, dry mouth, blurry vision and insomnia. Now calm down, you need to get some rest." He waved a hand and left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Group therapy with Richard and his brother goes badly. Which doesn't surprise Anne in the slightest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is alright.

Richard and I kept looking at each other, pulling funny faces. It broke the tension mounting in the room and believe it or not, I liked seeing Richard acting so immature. It was so unlike his usual serious self. Even as Dr York sat down, Richard had stuck his tongue out at me quickly. I barely stifled my giggle and by the sharp expression on Dr York's face, I knew he'd heard it. His manner was confusing to me. Surely, he'd want his brother to be happy and not taciturn and unhappy, for once? It would be natural, after all. As Richard noticed his brother's disapproval, he straightened in his seat, his own face mirroring the seriousness on his brother's...

The sunshine room still felt like stifling, despite it being empty. Richard and Dr York were almost scowling at one another and for once, I wanted nothing more than to go back to my room and sleep. Even if that meant I'd have to leave Richard with his brother. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with Richard because I did, I truly did but I was also feeling exhausted. Yawns kept escaping me as we'd waited for Dr York to arrive and I knew I looked a complete mess. A tired mess. Earlier, I'd gazed into the mirror with horror at just how badly I'd looked and how 'fat.' As much as I avoided thinking about it, I couldn't stop myself. 

"Now, that you've both stopped acting like children we can begin." Dr York's tone matched the disapproval on his face, as if he wanted to make sure we knew for certain his feelings. I spotted Richard's smirk and I knew exactly why he was doing it. Annoying his brother seemed to be one his favourite hobbies. 

I could tell Richard wanted to say a cheeky comeback. There was a mischievous glint in his eye and I prepared myself for drama. I'd seen firsthand just how badly Dr York could react and as much as Richard could be witty and funny (and completely adorable, at least to me), I didn't want to see his brother tearing into him. Whatever reason Richard was in here for, I knew something was wrong. I didn't want Dr York to take advantage of his weakness. Richard means far too much to me for that to happen. 

"Anne, how about you start? How are you coping with the new medication I prescribed you?" His voice was passive but professional. It made me angry. How was that conducive for getting me to talk? He sounded like we were discussing the weather not my health, for christs sake.

There was a disbelieving look on Richard's face, as if he couldn't believe it too. His forehead crinkled as he frowned and despite being in full view of Dr York, I reached to hold Richard's hand. It wasn't that I'd forgotten about Dr York being there. I simply didn't care. I wanted to hold his hand, to take comfort in the feeling of him. 

I didn't want to admit how badly I was reacting to the meds and I certainly didn't want to reveal any weaknesses to Dr bloody York. After all, I'd seen his weaknesses and he'd punished me for it. He wasn't the first psychiatrist I've ever had but he was the first one to medicate me. After I'd taken my first load of pills, I felt even crazier than I'd previously thought I was. 

"Fine." I muttered, looking anywhere but him. My answer was as short as I could make it but I'd have been just as happy saything nothing at all. 

Dr York wasn't happy at my short answer. His grip on my notes tightened considerably and I could see the whites of his knuckles as his skin stretched tightly over them. I could easily imagine him grinding his teeth in frustration, despite the fact I couldn't hear it. 

"Oh for godsake, this isn't the spanish inquisition." Richard mumbled to me, his voice low and annoyed. It wasn't low enough that Dr York didn't hear, however. 

I winced at the expression that came to Dr York's face and it was with equal malevolence that Richard looked at his brother. I felt too tired to deal with the drama and my desire to just slink off to my room and sleep for eternity increased. The only thing that stopped me was that there was no guarantee that I'd be able to sleep. Ever since I'd took Dr York's medication, insomnia had become a problem. Feeling exhausted, I'd lie awake, gazing at the ceiling, wishing for some chance at sleep. 

"Leave Monty Python out of this, Richard. Contrary to what you believe, I am here to help you and Anne. Cut the wisecracks!" He ended his tirade on a shout and it made me flinch. He was only sitting a couple of yards away, after all.

Richard, dear Richard looked positively venomous and it was the first time I'd seen him like it. He looked annoyed, and even angry but he had never looked so... furious. For a few moments, it made me glimpse a completely different person to the one I knew and was coming to care about. Instinctively, I felt the desire to pull my hand out of Richard's grasp, even though I didn't want to upset him. This version of Richard was so unlike the one I knew. It surprised me.

A derisive laugh came from Richard, one that bordered on hysterical. I couldn't help but gaze at him wondering what on earth was funny. Dr York's words were anything but!

"You think medicating people to their eyeballs is helping? Ha! And I'm one that's crazy!" He laughed harshly, but I could see he really wanted to cry. I squeezed his hand hard, almost as if to remind him I was still here. 

Dr York looked at his brother's outburst calmly but I could see him thinking. It was obvious. Richard squeezed my hand back and I could almost feel his anxiety coming off him in droves. In that moment, I wanted to believe Dr York's words, if not for myself but Richard too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment?

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment? I wanted to play around with situations and personalities. Make it interesting.


End file.
